


Phantoms

by daire



Category: Highlander - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-09-12
Updated: 1998-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-18 05:45:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11867949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daire/pseuds/daire
Summary: Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived atDaire's Fanfic Refuge. Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDaire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile.





	Phantoms

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Daire, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Daire's Fanfic Refuge](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Daire%27s_Fanfic_Refuge). Deciding to give the stories a more long-term home, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Daire's Fanfic Refuge's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/dairesfanficrefuge/profile).

Phantoms Part 1 by Daire

  
  
  


_Phantoms_

by Daire 

Note: This is set before, during and after _Comes a Horseman_ and _Revelations 6:8_ any information taken from _Comes a Horseman_ or _Rev. 6:8_ is copyrighted by Davis/Panzer, and all disclaimers apply. 

* * *

**Part 1**

While watching Cary Grant in _Suspicion_ , she heard a knock on the door. It was ten at night on a snowy winter's night, who could it be? A little annoyed, she went to the door. "Who is it?" 

"Me." 

"What are you doing here at this time?" 

"I had to see you." _Oh, he did, did he?_ He did enough damage before. After five months of his occasional sneaking around behind her back, she followed him one night and witnessed him take someone's head and then have lightening strike and course through his body. When she confronted him about it he tried to lie himself out of it. 

She'd about had it with men. "So you could lie to me some more?" 

"No, to apologize again.....can I come in? It's freezing out here." Reluctantly she undid the chain and opened the door just enough so he could get in. Snow blew in with him, quickly melting on the warm floor. She wrapped her robe around herself a little tighter at the blast of frigid air. 

Closing the door, she just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. She wished he'd hurry up and leave. She desperately wanted to take him back, but she knew she couldn't bring herself to do so. She loved him terribly and was torn between that and his lying. It was tearing her heart apart so much it hurt. She continued with the 'so get on with it' look. With his hands shoved in his pants pockets and eyes shifted to the floor, he started to speak, but couldn't get the words out. 

"Well, if you're not going to say anything, why are you here?" 

"This isn't easy for someone like me to tell another." 

"Then come back when you can." She went to turn the doorknob, but he put his hand on her arm, stopping her. 

"You know I love you. But there's something else you have to know." 

"No kidding." She thought back to the night she saw it all. Not like she hadn't been constantly thinking about it anyway. She couldn't _stop_ thinking about it. It's not something one sees everyday. 

"Please, just hear me out. But I think you should sit." He had that damned puppy dog look on his face. She could never resist that. He looked like a child who just lost his favorite toy and was about to cry. How she wanted to just hold him, holding her. That was the last thing she felt she could do though. He gently took her hand and led her to the couch. "I love you," _Well, we established that,_ she thought to herself. 

Before he could continue, he felt it and his head went up. _Damnit, this is the least opportune time for this._ He knew who it was and why they were here. 

"What is it?" He moved to get up. "Where are you going? You come over here saying you need to talk to me and now you're leaving? I knew something like this would...." 

"I'll be right back. It's just a friend." 

"How do you know?" 

"I just do, trust me." 

"Trust you? Please don't make me laugh." 

* * *

He went outside, meeting his friend. "Why are you here Mac?" 

"I can't let you do this. And you know you shouldn't." 

"Because you say so? She already knows something's up. I love her, and I can't keep lying to her. You told Tessa." 

"Because you'd be putting her in danger. You know that. It would be better to just leave. Tessa was different. There are plenty of others I put in danger." 

"I can't do that Mac. She's the first person who's really cared for and loved me in a very long time. 'Sides, she _saw me_ take a head. I have no choice. "Maybe not, but you can give her the choice. Tell her the possible consequences of her knowing the truth. Give _her_ the choice. Especially since she doesn't know what she is." 

"I know, Mac, I'm not a child. I'll see you later, alright?" Before Mac could say anything else his friend turned and went back into the house. Sighing at his friend's irresponsibility, he got back in his car and went back to the dojo to work out. 

* * *

"So, what did your friend want?" 

"Just his usual friendly interfering." 

His friend must not have done his job if he was still here. She didn't know how much longer she could take his being at her house. It was hard to resist taking him back. But if he had lied to her about this, how many other secrets did he have? It was getting harder by the minute. If he didn't hurry up she knew she'd probably take him back. "Can we get back to what you were going to tell me?" 

Sitting back down on the couch, he looked at her straight in the eyes in a strained silence. The silence seemed to last an eternity. 

"There are things about me you should know if you are going to be an important part of my life. But first, you need to know the possible repercussions of your knowing these facts." 

"What repercussions?" 

"You could be used against me. You can now, but your knowing wouldn't be any great advantage. You need to be absolutely sure you want to know. If you don't, I'll walk out that door and you'll never see me again." 

_Great. He_ had _to leave the decision up to me. Damn him._ This didn't help her at all. Would she regret it if she said she wanted to know? Or should she just let him go? "What is the worst thing that could happen to me?" 

"You could die." Those three words froze her. The choice seemed obvious, but she didn't know if she could live without him. No matter which choice she made, it may kill her. 

* * *

"Die? Are you kidding me? What the hell are you mixed up in?" 

"I can't tell you anymore until you decide if you want to know, or if you want me to leave." Part of him wanted her to choose to know so he wouldn't have to walk out that door to a life without her. 

"I don't know, this is a lot to comprehend at once. I can't make a quick decision on something that I could be risking my life for." Curiosity was getting the better of her. 

"You need to decide tonight. When I walk out that door it will either be for good or I've told you everything." 

"This is obviously something big. Why can't we just go on..." 

"Because you wouldn't be able to trust me if I kept it from you." 

He was right. She couldn't trust him about anything else he told her. "Whatever it is, Mac probably knows too, doesn't he?" Softly, he said yes. Quietly, she withdrew her hand from his grasp, got up and walked over to the window. For what seemed like an infinite period, she stared out at the dark, snowy world. Snow was whirling around in the gusts of wind. The snow seemed to reflect what she was feeling. She glanced at the clock, almost eleven-thirty. He said something, but she didn't hear him. She was too engrossed in trying to decide what she wanted to do to notice anything else. "I don't know. I just don't know." 

"Well, I'm not leaving until you decide." 

"How many others know of this? Besides Mac." 

"Not many. Amanda, Joe, a few other people you don't know." Somehow she figured that. But it didn't make her choice any easier. 

* * *

She couldn't do it. Tearfully, she gave him her decision. "I'm sorry, I just can't." She couldn't look at him, and continued staring out the window into the darkness, tears streaming down her face. His reflection in the glass showed he was getting up and walking towards her. She put her arm out to stop him and shook her head "No," and squeezed her eyes shut. 

He lowered her arm and embraced her. She buried her face in his shoulder. After a few moments, he lifted her chin so her face was towards his. "Look at me, please?" 

She opened her eyes, but thankfully the tears blurred everything so she didn't have to look at his face clearly. He kissed her one lingering last time. "Remember I love you." Then he let her go and walked out the door, not looking back. 

She turned back to the window. As she saw the headlights turn on, she turned away again, not wanting him to see her looking after him. When she saw the illumination of the lights pass around the house and turn towards the road, she watched the tail lights disappear in the snow. 

* * *

She took a few days off from work. She couldn't face anyone and pay attention to them at the same time. Janie could handle things, there were no major accounts with a deadline near. 

Most of the time she just sat and stared at nothing. Wondering what she had done. No relationship had ever worked out for her. It felt as though it was her destiny to not have anyone close to her forever. She had always been on her own. Her "mother" had told her she had been left on her doorstep moments before who she thought was the birth mother was killed in a hit and run. No one knew who her father was. 

She thought this latest relationship would last, thought they had some deeper connection she couldn't quite figure out. 

Even _I Love Lucy_ reruns didn't cheer her up. She tried doing some kata she had picked up from Mac to work out some frustration. She only succeeded in concentrating on the exercises and not thinking about anything else. At least that was a start. It got her mind off of the situation for a little while. 

* * *

A few days later, with her mind still cluttered with what had happened, she returned to work. Janie instantly saw that something was wrong, more than she had thought. "Are you sure you want to be here?" 

"No, I don't want to, but there is work to be done and I can't ignore it any longer. If I stayed out until I was ready, you probably wouldn't see me until next year." 

"Wow, something big must have gone down. If there's anything I can do..." 

"You can get me the Peterson account file. I have a new idea for his campaign." she directed quasi sternly and inoffensively. Trying not to sound too brusque. 

"You know what I meant." 

"I know, Janie, but I just want to get some work done." Giving her assistant a wan smile, she turned into her office and shut the door. Leaning against the door, she let out a sigh. _Just take it one step at a time,_ she thought to herself. She sat down at her desk and shuffled through the small stack of phone messages. _Peterson, Darrens, Peterson, Peterson, Tate, Stephenson, Peterson....Peterson can be so goddamned annoying. I would love to take him down a few notches._ But he was their biggest client and she couldn't risk losing his account. Maybe her new idea would get him off her back and her mind off other things. 

* * *

Weeks went by and she was functioning a little better, but he occupied her thoughts whenever she stopped thinking about everything else. It was usually at night when she went to bed, and then ended up not getting much sleep. Not being able to sleep, she would get up and work on accounts. There was always work to be done, no matter how much she did, it never seemed to lessen what was left. 

The two days prior to her next presentation to Peterson went by in a blur, but she got it done and could get some rest. Or at least try to. 

With the relief of the stress of the presentation, she could sleep more soundly. Then the nightmares began. Because he had never told her what he was keeping from her, she kept trying come up with her own reasons. All these thoughts occupied her uncluttered mind, especially before she fell asleep. 

* * *

She looked at the clock, it was only one-thirty in the morning. There was no way she was going to get back to sleep after that dream. The fear remained with her a little bit. Wide awake now, she got up and took a warm shower then put on her broken in college sweatshirt and jogging pants. 

Sitting down at the kitchen table, she tried to get some work done. To no avail, she tried reading. Having an interest in Bronze Age history and cultures, she lost all track of time while reading it. Some of the artifact pictures seemed eerily familiar to her. Granted, she had seen museum exhibits on the subject, but almost as if she had held them herself. 

Before she knew it, the sun was rising. At least it was the weekend and she didn't have to worry about dragging herself to work. Shrugging off the eerie feeling, she made herself some breakfast and decided she needed a vacation. It had been three years since she had taken one. All major work was out of the way, and Janie was capable of running the office without her. Sometimes, she thought Janie did it a little _too_ well. 

Next weekend sounded like a good time to leave. That would give her the week to let all her clients know she'd be gone and tie up loose ends. Before she changed her mind, she called the travel agent to book her a flight and hotel accommodations for Paris. 

* * *

Stepping outside the Paris airport, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, in a relaxing manner. _Finally, I can leave all my worries back home and try to relax._ Nothing like wandering around a European city aimlessly and taking it all in. Exploring a new place, different culture, good thing she took French in high school, even if she almost failed it. Hailing a taxi, she went to her hotel to check in and get a little rest before dinner. 

"Can you give my room a ring at six, please? Don't want to miss dinner," she asked the concierge jovially. 

"Of course Madam. If you require anything else, please let me know." 

" _Merci._ " He nodded his head to her as she headed to her room. Dropping onto the bed, she drifted off to sleep easier than she thought she would. 

* * *

_It was still dark and the campfires were all but glowing embers. She wasn't sure what woke her, but she didn't dare move, not wanting to awaken him. He'd be awake soon enough, much to her chagrin. She tried to get back to sleep before the women would all have to be up and start their daily chores._

Just as the sky was beginning to glow with the new day's light, one of the others stormed into the tent. "Brother, it is time to ride." 

Groggily, her master for the night woke up, squinting against the brightness stealing inside. Looking at his woman for the night, he remarked "I'm always up for a good ride." Chuckling evilly, he bid her to get his clothes and some water to wash himself. Quickly, she obeyed to get out of his presence. A few minutes later, she brought a jug of water for him and poured it into a large bowl. As if taunting her, he told her to forget the water and to get his clothes as he did not have time to wash. Instead he instructed her to have cool water and herself ready for him when he returned. 

"B...." she started in protest, then remembering her place quieted. Others had protested and received the unpleasant consequences. He gave her a piercing look, daring her to continue. "Kronos!" called the other. Handing him his clothes, she said no more and sat back on the animal furs. 

"I see we learn quickly. That can be of use. I want you clean for me tonight as well." She nodded her head in acknowledgment, waiting for him to leave. On his way out of the tent, he instructed her to straighten out the mess and disorder. Well, if you hadn't thrashed us around so much last night, it wouldn't be in such disorder, _she wanted to say to him. Rising to start her chores, she saw the four of them ride off. The thought of running away entered her mind again as it did every time they left camp. But she knew they would hunt her down in no time and kill her. Everyone thought of escaping, but never did._

* * *

Parting her legs with his knee, Kronos positioned himself above her. He pinned her arms above her head. She struggled with her legs trying to close them. "Fighting me will only make it worse." She spit in his face. He slapped her again for the second time that day. 

He knew how to get her body to respond so she wouldn't be able to stop herself. He took her left nipple and suckled her breast as his right hand slid between her thighs. A softer touch at first to get a response, then he stroked her increasingly harder. When he felt her warm juices, he knew she was ready for him. 

She continued to struggle against him, moaning involuntarily from his touch. As he removed his pants, she tried to take advantage of the opportunity to free herself. She got one hand free and used it in attempt to push Kronos off of her. 

In a flash, he had retrieved a knife and brought it to her throat. "The more you move around against me, the more this will sink into your skin." Without a choice, she settled down. 

As he was ready to enter her, she started screaming "No!" 

"Quiet!" Kronos roared, as he thrust himself into her, taking her forcefully. She moaned with the pain of his thrusts as he raped her. 

The sound of the phone ringing woke her up. It was the concierge as she had asked. The dream had her spooked. Not unlike the last time. She wondered where they were coming from. 

She went down to the hotel restaurant for a simple meal, then strolled a bit down the rue before turning in early. She wanted to get in as much sightseeing in the next day as possible. The day after she was planning on taking a train through the countryside down to Bordeaux. 

* * *

It was early when she boarded the train to Bordeaux. When it pulled out of the station, the sun was just beginning to give an orange glow over the city. She watched as the sun rose above the trees giving light to a new day. 

Houses that had stood for decades, maybe even centuries, caught her gaze as they passed by towns and country estates. She imagined what it would be like to have lived in one of those large estates so many years ago. 

The constant movement of watching everything pass by had made her sleepy. She drifted off to sleep to the lulling movement of the train. 

_"No! Please, no!" she screamed. The one they called Caspian had claimed her for the night. She desperately hoped Methos would stop him. She had seen women come out of Caspian's tent before, and did not want to be one of them. He had even tortured some to death. "Methos! Please don't let him take me!"_

"Quiet woman!" Caspian rumbled. "We share everything. You are mine tonight." He looked at her with a piercing gaze as if he knew what she looked like without her clothes on. She glanced back at the rest of the camp before being pulled into Caspian's tent and saw Methos look at her then turn into his own tent. There was nothing he could do. 

The train pulled to a stop in a small town about halfway to Bordeaux. She woke as people boarded the train. _Another dream of that camp? Where are they coming from?_

She was oblivious to her surroundings within the train car. An older gentleman got onto her car and asked her something in French. She didn't hear what he said, but it wasn't as if she would have understood him. " _Est ceci siege occuper?_ " he repeated a little louder, to which she turned her attention to him. She gave him a confused look and told him she didn't speak French, not well anyway. 

While a smile, the gentleman repeated himself again in heavily accented English. "Is this seat taken?" 

"No." She replied shaking her head slightly and gave a polite smile. As she watched the people on the loading deck saying their good-byes her mind drifted back to when she let him go. That snowy night so many weeks ago. If she had just listened to him, despite the risks, she would be with him now. Wondering what he was keeping from her had given her many a wakeful night. The curiosity had been sparked since that night and there were times she wanted to know so bad she could have crawled out of her skin. She should have dealt with whatever it was. Hindsight was definitely 20/20. 

Her seatmate was talking to her again, but she barely heard him through her own thoughts. _Great, a chatterbox._ What he had been asking her was if she was all right. The dull color to her eyes must have given her away. She nodded, but didn't quite succeed in convincing him. 

As the train was pulling out of the station, her seatmate leaned across her to wave to his family. " _Pardon moi, mademoiselle._ " A neat looking woman in her late forties, perhaps early fifties, and two tall teenage boys. He smiled and waved and blew kisses to his wife. She could see his wife wipe away a single tear as she waved back. _It must be nice to have someone miss you like that._ Finally, he sat down and let out a sigh of half relaxation and half settling into his seat. 

She hated the seemingly awkward silence that seemed to engulf strangers on a long trip. Seated next to someone you would only know for the duration of the trip, then bid your good-byes saying "It was nice meeting you," then off on your way likely to never see them again in your life. 

Taking this time of silence from him, she closed her eyes in hopes that he wouldn't start talking again. Still a bit fatigued, the train's movement mollified her to sleep again. 

_It was growing dark and the four of them had not returned yet. Maybe she could escape under the cover of darkness. It would be dangerous, but she had to risk it. She couldn't bear to stay in the camp any longer._ Better to die in the desert than here. _She had to act before she lost her nerve, and more importantly, before they came back. Yes, it_ had _to be_ now _._

As quickly as she could without arousing suspicion, she grabbed the water jug from Methos' tent. Glancing around and seeing no one, she snatched a small sheathed knife and hid it in the jug. Nonchalantly, she headed towards the river under pretenses of filling the jug and coming back. She couldn't be sure if anyone saw her or not, she was so preoccupied with escaping from the barbarians. 

Reaching the river's edge, she let out a relieved breath. Why, she wasn't sure, it was a small feat to make it there, it would be normal for someone to fetch water. Kneeling down, she filled the jug and looked up and down the riverbanks. Not a soul in sight. She let the jug fall halfway into the water on its side and made a number of footprints and scuffle marks to make it look as though there was a struggle. She tore a bit of fabric from her clothes and dropped it into the sand and kicked a little sand about it. 

With luck, anyone looking for her would think she had been abducted while getting water and dragged off. Perhaps dead even, her "abductors" killing her and throwing her into the water to sink or float downstream. She would be very lucky if they thought either of those scenarios and left it at that. Not as if any of them held their slaves dear to their hearts. It would be one less mouth to feed. 

Satisfied enough, she waded into the river and headed upstream and upwind. It would be harder going against the current, but she knew they had gone this direction in their ride the day before and would not again so soon if they didn't look for her. 

It was dark now and she was far enough upstream to foil anyone tracking her off her trail for awhile. She headed for the nearby hill with the waterfall that could be seen from the camp. It was a little steep on one side with sharp rock jutting here and there. Pausing for a breath, she looked back in the direction of the camp. The fire was huge and she saw four dark figures fly past the light. Her heart skipped a beat. They'd know soon enough she was gone. 

In a state of increased panic and determination, she turned her attention back to climbing. Her hands where cut and bloody from the rocks. Reaching for the next rockhold she could get, her foot slipped on some rubble. In a vain attempt to stop herself, she missed her mark, slipping and falling the twenty or so feet to the bottom. She felt her head hit a rock and the feel of the throbbing of the blood rushing to the gash. She moaned "Nooo" with a sob before slipping into unconsciousness. 

* * *

"No, I was getting water at the river...and, and...someone grabbed me from behind..." 

"Oh, abducted were you?" he asked amusingly. She was lucky he had gone to look for her than any of the other three, otherwise she'd never have come out of unconsciousness. He took a damp cloth and dabbed at her head wound cleaning away the blood. "Don't bother lying to me. You didn't hide your tracks well enough in the water. You walked too close to the bank. If you hadn't done that, your little ruse may have worked." 

Tears welled up in her eyes. She couldn't go back to the camp. "Please just let me go," she looked at him pleadingly, "or kill me." 

"Either way you die. There is nothing nearby. You'd die before you reached anywhere. Is that what you want? To die?" He was intrigued by the fact that she wanted _to die. He looked at her, contemplating._

Her eyes were icy and determined. The color of dark storm clouds. "If you take me back I will try again. And maybe then someone will kill me. I can't take it anymore." He knew his brothers were rougher than he, and he had taken a bit of a liking to her. Of course, he couldn't let the others know that, least of all Kronos. 

"There is only one way you can die." 

She looked at him, confused. "And what is that, Methos?" 

"Not by my hand." He wouldn't kill her! She wanted to die, and he wouldn't do it. Maybe he was not aware of it, but to her that was the height of cruelty. He looked at her, her jaw had dropped, eyes filled with disbelief now. 

She remembered the knife tied to her thigh. It was a moonless night, perhaps he would not see her go for it. Silently, she reached for it, slowly pulling it out of its sheath. Getting a firm grip on it, she lunged at him aiming for his heart. 

Her speed and agility was rather quick for having a head wound. "Aarrgghh!!" she screamed. At the last moment he blocked the knife with his arm creating a deep gash across his forearm. Ignoring the pain, he grabbed her and held her wrists together. She dropped the knife and gave him a thunderous look. 

The bit of electricity signaling the healing on his arm caught her eye like a torch in the dark night. Gods, now what do I tell her? _She looked from his arm to her face, obviously looking for an explanation. The wound healed, she wrenched a hand free and wiped away the blood. Even in the darkness she could see that there wasn't a mark. Stunned at the sight, her muscles went limp and he caught her before she hit the ground._

"What...How...?" she stuttered. The shock of what she'd seen was too much after her previous accident. With a sigh, she fainted. 

Thank the gods for small favors. _Hopefully, she'd stay under long enough to get her back to camp. Slinging her over his shoulder, Methos carried her to his horse and slung her across and mounted himself._

As he headed back he though of what he'd say to the others about her. If he told Kronos she tried to escape she would be dead after he punished her. 

No, let them believe she was abducted. Then he could tend to her wound and rest for a night. He was softening a bit and was tired of all the killing, raping, pillaging. And dissension among them was increasing. 

* * *

_He felt her stir as he rode back into camp. Kronos was waiting for them to come back. "It's about time Brother." Methos looked at him but did not say anything. "Where was she Methos?" He reined in his horse before Kronos._

"I found her up by the waterfall. Looks as though she was abducted and left for dead." Kronos eyed him with scrutiny then took her arms and pulled her off the horse to the ground. 

"Abducted you say?" He looked at the woman, now conscious of hitting the ground and where she was. With abandon, she laid her head back down and sighed. "Well, seems she's glad to be back." She resisted the urge to glare at him, but it would only make things worse. Instead, she looked at Methos in disbelief. He hadn't killed her and he was lying about what happened. She couldn't believe it. 

Kronos bent to grab her arm. "Well, now that you're back, we can resume normal activity." He had a gleam in his eye she knew too well. And Methos saw it too, and wanted to intercede, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut. 

"No! Don't touch me!" Everyone was startled for the moment at someone speaking out against one of them. 

"Kronos, let her be for one night. She's been through enough already." He motioned for one of the other women to take care of her. As the woman started towards her, Kronos stopped her. 

"No, she'll spend the night with me. She won't be good for anything else. Don't worry Methos, she'll be laying on her back." There was nothing else Methos could do. Kronos yanked her off the ground and in what seemed an endless repeat, dragged her to his tent. 

Looking back towards Methos and those still gathered, she called back "I swear one of these days Methos, I will kill _you!"_

Once inside, Kronos ripped off her clothes and forced her to the ground. Unclothed himself he positioned himself above her, his member barely touching the cleft between her legs. Just the sight of her naked body aroused him sufficiently. But she didn't want it, and needed to make her body respond against her will. 

He held her wrists one in each hand and bent his head to kiss and tease one breast. Her nipples became erected in response. He playfully, almost painfully bit one and then licked from her breast all the way up her neck. Turning her head in disgust she let out a quiet weep. Her arms relaxed. She couldn't fight anymore. 

Now disgusted with herself, she gave into it. Sensing this, Kronos hesitantly released her hands and took hold of her hips to keep her still. Shifting himself, his mouth traveled lower and lower until he reached the dark hair of her mound and went still further. He heard a soft moaning of "No" but ignored it. His tongue found her opening and teased it before going further. His own hardness and desire growing, he grew more frantic. Unable to leave her hands at her sides, she grabbed his hair and ran her hands through it. 

Still weeping she prayed she would be forgiven. She continued saying "No" over and over as he brought himself up and entered her, she clawing at his back as waves of unwanted pleasure washed over her. 

* * *

"Nooo...noo...please, nooo..." 

"Mamselle, wake up mamselle, you are having a bad dream!" Her French seatmate was gently shaking her trying to bring her out of her dream. 

A bit startled, she woke up and asked "What?" with eyes the size of saucers. "What's going on?" 

"Are you all right Mamselle? You were calling out 'No' and in a most distressed state." She looked at him and a few other surrounding passengers, all looking at her in slightly distressed interest. At a loss for words, she could only stare at him as if struck dumb. As she gathered her wits, he motioned for a steward to bring some water and handed it to her. 

" _Merci._ " Taking a sip she answered him. " _Oui_. I am quite all right. It was just a bad dream." His face brightened, astonishing her. Not a reaction she expected. Giving him a curious glance at his reaction, he continued unnerved now of her actions upon waking. 

"Aah, I see Madamoiselle! Would you like to talk about it? I am a professor of psychology at the _Université_ in Paris. Maybe I can help you?" Unsure of this, she took a drink of the water to stall and think about it. What could it hurt? Maybe it would take some of the weight off her shoulders. 

"Mmm." she replied with water still in her mouth. "But not here. Is there somewhere else on the train a bit more private?" 

"The dining car should be fairly vacant...." She nodded in agreement, bending down to pick up her purse. 

She wasn't sure where to start, or how. She looked out the window, barely noticing the countryside. "What have the dreams been about?" To her relief, Professor started. 

With a bit of hesitance, she began. "I'm not sure what time period it is, but it's in a desert camp. There are three or four that I guess you'd say were in charge. Everyone was afraid of them. In one dream, I tried to escape, and failed. The strange thing is, these dreams seem vaguely familiar. Like I'd lived them before." Professor nodded, taking it all in. She continued to tell him what she could remember, which was most of them, of her dreams. Of how she would see some artifacts and get an eerie feeling that she had held them, even owned them. 

An hour later, she had gotten it all out. She felt a little better, but there was still that odd feeling she couldn't shake. Professor was concentrating, mulling over everything she had told him. It was almost five minutes before she was getting impatient and had opened her mouth to speak, when he started. "It _seems_ that you are having some sort of past life regressions. Déjà vu. Realizing past lives can be very overwhelming, as you have found out. Had you ever seen anyone in your dreams before in person?" 

Thinking for a moment, she started to shake her head "No" but then realized she had. Her eyes widened in the realization. _Mac's friend Adam! How could it be him though?_ "Yes, I have, come to think of it. A friend of a friend looks extraordinarily like the one called Methos in my dreams. But what are the odds of him looking exactly like the man in my dreams?" _Shorter hair, same nose and facial features, same_ body. 

"Astronomical, but it is possible. It is often that offspring look like a great-grandparent or such. But as to what sounds like at least to be around 800 B.C. or earlier, the odds are beyond astronomical!" Now Professor's eyes were the size of teacup saucers. 

"So what can I do about these dreams? Do I just have to let them work out, or what? They are rather disturbing." 

"I know my dear, but you will probably have to let them work out. Or try hypnosis." She shook her head no. The suggestion of hypnosis didn't quite appeal to her. If the dreams themselves were overwhelming, she couldn't imagine how finding out everything almost at once would affect her. 

"Thanks, but I don't think I'm up for that. I do, however, appreciate your listening to all this and trying to help. Telling someone has given me some relief finally." 

"You're welcome my dear. Another thing you may try is to write down all that you remember after each dream. I've found that it helps to keep a journal. Then one day, you may be able to put it all together. Perhaps you will also cross paths with that friend, triggering more 'memories.' You could after all look exactly like you do in your dreams." That thought had never occurred to her. It _was_ possible. She hadn't seen herself in any of the dreams. For all she knew, Adam could dabble in this past life stuff and have seen her before. But when they had met briefly that one time, he showed no recognition. 

The train was slowing down, they were almost into Bordeaux. People were starting to stir, gathering their things together, getting ready to disembark. She and Professor got up to go back to their car, and she thanked him once again. She had a bit of an uneasy feeling now that they were so close. 

" _Adieu, mamselle, bonne chance en ta recherche._ " 

" _Merci. Au revior_ Professor." Her things gathered together, she got off the train. Breaking her way through the throng of people outside the train station, she hailed a taxi to the Hotel de Seze. 

As the taxi pulled up in front of the hotel, she saw Mac just coming out with a woman she'd never seen before. _Dammit_ , she thought, _what is he doing here?_ The last thing she needed now was for Mac to see her and tell Richie where she was. Bowing her head so her hair shielded her face, she fumbled in her purse looking for change to pay the taxi driver. Peeking up to see where he was, she didn't see him anywhere. Relieved, she paid the driver and went to check in. Hopefully, she'd be able to steer clear of Mac while there. 

She was stuck. She saw him before he saw her. Knowing it was futile to try to hide, she shrank back into the corner of the elevator. Maybe he wouldn't really notice her. He seemed involved in the conversation with the woman he was with. _Please don't let him notice me._ No such luck. Mac's eyes rested on her as he turned around after pressing the button for one of the floors. "Lily? Is that you?" 

"Um, hi Duncan." 

"What are you doing here? Does Richie....oh, sorry. I didn't mean to...." 

"It's all right Duncan. I'm here on vacation, and no, he doesn't. I haven't spoken to him since the last time you were at my house." Lily knew full well he remembered when that was. No doubt Richie had told him just about everything. 

In the uneasy silence, MacLeod took the opportunity to steer the conversation away from Richie and introduced Lily and his companion. "Lily, this is a friend of mine, Cassandra. Cassandra, Lily Fraser." 

"Nice to meet you, Lily." There was an unmistakable air of contempt in her voice. Lily stifled a smile to herself as she realized it must be because she had said that Mac had been at her house. Obviously, they were presently involved. 

Lily could tell that Cassandra was someone other women didn't really take to. But she looked vaguely familiar to her....but couldn't place her. "So, what are you two doing in France? Vacationing as well?" she asked keeping away from the subject of Richie, who she hoped was still in the States. 

"Not exactly. Just looking up some old friends." Cassandra let out a bit of a snort of disgust, which received a slight nudge and glare from Mac. The elevator reached their floor and the doors opened, Duncan and Cassandra exiting. "It was good to see you again, Lily. Take care of yourself, okay?" 

"Thanks, I will Duncan." The sincerity in his voice didn't really surprise her. No doubt he knew Richie's feelings for her. She had wanted desperately to ask him how Richie was doing, but couldn't bring herself to do it. In all likelihood, she would be better off not knowing. Better to just wonder. _Oh well, can't dwell on it forever, I'm in France for Christ's sake._

Putting the thoughts of him aside, Lily headed settled her things in her room and headed out for a day of wandering the city. 

* * *

It was dusk as Lily got off the Ferris wheel at the Esplanade des Quinconces. She felt relaxed for the moment, having gotten a good view of the city from the top of the ride. Enjoying the gay laughter of people milling about the esplanade, Lily got something to drink and sat on a nearby bench where she could watch everyone. Parents and their bright-eyed children, lovers hand in hand, mimes silently enthralling the kids, a balloon artist making dogs and other animals. She saw a child of about seven with his father, wide-eyed in his glory. He was deaf, evidently, from the sign language his parent used to communicate with him, but his disability wasn't fazing him a bit. He had a bright red balloon tied around one wrist, a wad of cotton candy in the same hand, and his other hand holding his father's. 

Lily couldn't help but smile at the picture. As the crowd enveloped the little boy and his father, Lily's eyes rested upon a man. His face was finely featured...as if chiseled out of stone. His hazel eyes full of knowledge and wisdom. She had only met him once briefly, but she knew him without a doubt. _Adam....what is he doing here?_

He was scanning the crowd as well, then saw who he was looking for. Duncan ran yelling something, Lily couldn't make out what in her trance. She couldn't take her eyes off Adam. Her dreams flooded back into her mind. Breathing was becoming hard for her, what could be called memories came to her. Flashes of the desert camp she'd seen in her dreams.....Adam.....death.....tents.....fear.....raced through her mind. In attempt to break away from the images, Lily raced from the esplanade, catching Adam's attention in the process. But she neither noticed, nor cared. 

* * *

**Part 2**

The woman he had seen dash across the esplanade had caught his attention. It was hard not to. You don't see many people rushing through a laid back atmosphere. She looked vaguely familiar, but couldn't place her. He couldn't worry about it now, he had to keep an eye on MacLeod. Kronos would surely have Cassandra by now, if he figured out that was why Methos had led MacLeod on a wild goose chase. 

When he saw the fountain start up, he knew Mac had disarmed the "bomb," and left to head back to the submarine base. On his way, it came to him who the woman was. _Lily, Richie and Mac's friend. I didn't think Richie was in France...._ Even though he had come up with her name, he still had the feeling he knew her more than just in passing. 

  
It wasn't until later that Methos thought he figured out where he knew Lily. Kronos was toying with Cassandra, Silas was with his monkey, and Caspian.....who knew what Caspian was up to, probably helping Kronos torture Cassandra. 

There were few that had ever tried to escape the Horsemen. They all failed, except Cassandra, but nonetheless tried to get away. The four of them were ruthless, taking whatever and whomever they pleased. Methos was not proud of what he was then. But it had been his way of life...if it hadn't, it could have been the end of his life then. 

One failed escapee stuck in his mind. He couldn't quite picture her, it had been three thousand years. _What was her name?_ Methos racked his brain, so hard in fact he almost didn't hear Kronos calling his name. "Methos! Where the devil are you?" 

"Oh, uh, right here. What is it now?" 

"Tsk, tsk, Brother. Time to pay attention," he mocked. "What were you thinking about?" 

"Nothing that concerns you." 

"Everything concerns me." 

"You really want to know?" 

"Not really. Come on, it's time to get MacLeod." It was a good thing Kronos didn't want to pry any further. Methos was unsure how he'd tell him he was thinking of a person long dead. Not to mention the fact that he never told Kronos that she had escaped rather than abducted. 

* * *

_**Four days after the fight between MacLeod and Kronos**_

He had wandered around France with complete abandon. MacLeod had all but deserted him, Alexa had been gone, Richie would stand behind Mac, and Dawson....he hadn't seen or talked to Dawson since before the whole showdown began. And Cassandra, he didn't dare go near her if he valued his head attached to his neck. _At least its one person who would do it for me if I ever get tired of being around._

And yet, the only thing really keeping Methos' mind going was Lily. He knew he had seen her before. But where? He had dreams with her in them the past three nights. That's all he really remembered of the dreams, other than heat and sand. His luck, he would remember her name on the verge of sleep one night. 

_"Here, drink some." Methos handed her the waterbag. Stubbornly, she turned away from him, refusing it. "If you don't drink some, you'll get thirsty and weak."_

She ignored him, her arms crossed in front of her and staring off to the horizon. He knew she wished to be at the horizon, away from them. All she could think about was getting away, nothing else mattered. Except her life. She needed her life to escape them. 

She had not tried to escape since the last time when she made it to the waterfall. They had all kept a closer eye on her, so she never really had the chance to try again. "Drink." It was a command rather than a question or offer. He gave her a glare that she couldn't argue with. Reluctantly, she snatched the waterbag from his hand and drank. She drank deeply, her body's need for nourishment overpowered her emotions. 

Handing it back to him, she finally spoke. "Why don't you just let me go? What did I do to deserve this life?" 

Methos thought for a moment. She hadn't deserved this life, she was pressed into it. Just like hundreds of others. He had no answer to that question. He did, however, for the other one. "Because you would die, and I don't want you to." 

"What difference does it make to you? I'm just another prisoner. What makes me different from all the rest?" 

"You're courageous, for one. Not many try to escape, and none have succeeded." And you're good in bed, _he thought with a tiny smirk on his face. Quickly, he removed it before she saw it._

"And you would keep me here because....?" 

"Besides the fact that no one leaves?" She nodded. "That's all. No one leaves....alive." 

Looking him straight in the eye, she made her request. "Then kill me." 

Methos just stared at her. This was the second time she had told him to do that. He wouldn't do it before, he wouldn't do it now. But he couldn't let her go either. He felt something deeper with her, but he couldn't show it. And she clearly despised him, saying he had feelings for her wouldn't make her situation any better for her. He silently asked the powers that be what he was to do. Damned if he did, damned if he didn't. 

He couldn't kill her. His taste for killing was weakening. After a long silence, he made his decision. "Go." 

She was awestruck, not sure she had heard him correctly. "Wh-what did you say?" 

"I said 'go.'" She continued to stare at him. "I would go before I changed my mind." She started taking a few steps tentatively away from him, to test he wasn't trying to trick her. "I'm not going to go after you." Turning, she readied herself to start running. But not before Methos called out to her. "Seshet....wait." Stopping and turning her head towards him, her face fell realizing that maybe it was too good to be true. Methos took a few long strides towards her, one hand outstretched with the waterbag, the other with a knife. "Here, take these, you will need them. And be careful." 

"Thank you, I will." 

A crash of thunder woke him up. Gathering in where, and _when_ he was, he remembered the dream fully. _Seshet! That's it....Seshet._ A name he hadn't spoken, much less thought of, since long before Caesar's time. Now that he had remembered her name, he could sleep better. He could try to remember more later. 

After continued dreams of Seshet, Methos decided to seek out a psychology professor he knew in Paris that studied past lives and sometimes did past life regressions. It may be a stretch to call it a past life, but he was different now, and it _had_ been another life. If it didn't work, it didn't work. Couldn't hurt to try. 

* * *

Back in Paris, Methos headed straight for the _Université_ in search of Professor Lelande after dropping his things off at his apartment. 

He was told by the Professor's secretary that he would be unavailable until about 3:30, four hours away. "Could you please tell him that Adam Pierson needs to see him. He can find me in the library." 

"Does he know you?" she asked haughtily. 

"Yes, we go way back." he replied with a curt smile. 

"I'll let him know." 

"Thanks." 

* * *

"This is rather odd Adam. Not long ago I encountered a young woman having disturbing dreams that sound to be taking place in the same time period as yours." 

Methos had a feeling it was Lily. "Where did you meet her?" 

"On a train to Bordeaux, _pourquoi_?" 

_It had to be her._ "Hmm? Oh, I think I know who she is. I may have seen her in Bordeaux. These dreams began shortly after that. What did she look like, do you remember?" The Professor described Lily, Methos' hunch was right, it was Lily and/or Seshet. But he didn't sense anything from Lily....or he wasn't close enough to her at the esplanade. He had to find her. 

"Extraordinary! I have never come across this scenario before." The Professor's exclamation brought Methos out of his contemplations. 

"Henri, would you do a regression if I can find and persuade her to do it?" 

"Of course Adam, you know I would." 

"Thanks Henri. Now do you have any idea how long these dreams are going to plague me?" he asked jovially. 

"I don't know, probably after there is a resolution of some kind. We could _try_ to do a regression with you." Seems neither of them knew if it would work on Methos. Few, very few, mortals knew of Methos' Immortality. And none of them knew his true name or what he had been thousands of years ago. 

"Maybe another time Henri. I am anxious to find our mystery woman." Methos thanked him again and nearly ran out of the library. He didn't know why he was rushing, he didn't have a clue where to start looking for Lily Fraser. 

* * *

**Part 3**

After touring Bordeaux, Lily had spent a few days in Nice before heading back to Paris. She had a feeling Adam would be back in Paris. 

It was odd really. She didn't know him hardly, just the time or two at Duncan's, but she seemed to have a sense of knowing what he was like. Logic told her it had to be a coincidence that he looked like the man in her dreams....Methos. 

The frustrating thing was, she had no one to share this with that wouldn't think her crazy. _Maybe_ Richie would believe her, but she wasn't ready to see him again. Especially with something like this. 

* * *

Methos settled on the deck of the Barge that gave him a wide view of the surrounding riverbank and bridge by Notre Dame. "I have a feeling she's still here in Paris, or will be back. I just don't know....." He stopped, seeing the subject of their conversation. "Mac, look....isn't that her on the bridge?" 

Duncan squinted against the bright sunlight. It looked like it could be her, but he couldn't be sure. "It could be." She either hadn't seen them or couldn't recognize them from the distance. "I doubt she'll recognize us from there, and she's never been on the Barge....now's your chance old man." 

Obviously, he needed a cue to get off his ass. After all that time looking for her, she ended up coming to him. Why he didn't quite figure out in 5,000 years that all good things come to those who wait....he shook his head as if to dismiss the thought. He was up and gone before Duncan had gotten the next sentence out of his mouth. "You can bring her back here if you want to...." 

Methos felt as though he could fly up the steps to the bridge, but settled for taking two at a time. Panting a little when he reached the top, he stopped to catch his breath. _I need to start working out again._

Having regained a normal breathing rhythm, he strolled over to where Lily was leaning on the bridge wall looking across the city. ""Nice day isn't it?" Startled, she jumped back a step. "I've been looking for you." 

"M-Methos!?" she exclaimed in a loud whisper. This startled her even more, she knew him as Adam. She hadn't consciously remembered the name from her dreams, then to have it come out in her voice.... 

This took Methos by surprise as well, enough he couldn't say anything. And that didn't happen often. His face hardened, barely perceptible. Without a word, he took her arm and led her to the Barge. 

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? Let go of me!" He still said nothing, as others within hearing looked after them. 

Once they were in the privacy of the Barge, Methos sat her down. Looking her straight in the eye, and after a few false starts, he finally asked her. "Where did you hear that name?" 

The look in Adam's....Methos'....whoever he was....eyes brought back a flicker of her dreams. Confusion, question, surprise, fear, and a bit of anger all rolled into one gaze. To be called his name by someone he barely knew, not even knew who or what he was, was....strange. 

She couldn't speak. It was as if her vocal chords had frozen. That voice, it was the one from her dreams. Not the inquiring, carefree voice on the bridge; but imposing and rough. Savage and crude, tinged with Death. 

Duncan had come below by now to make sure everything was all right. He had seen the look on Methos' face when he came back with Lily. But they had gone into the Barge before he could even say hello. Lily looked at him now with a plea for help in her eyes. Methos continued to look at Lily, waiting for an answer. He didn't even look up when Duncan came in. 

"Is everything all right in here?" 

"Just peachy." He stepped towards Lily so he was standing before her. Bending down, he placed his hands on the chair's arms and asked her again. 

"You're intimidating her. That's not going to get either of you anywhere." Knowing Duncan was right, Methos backed away from Lily and fell onto the sofa and sighed. Lily relaxed and loosened her grip on the chair. 

In an attempt to lighten the moment, Duncan went over to Lily to welcome her, giving her a quick peck on the cheek and a soft smile. She wanted to ask him about Richie, but knew this was definitely _not_ the time. Calming down, she could tune in to the feeling that there was something Duncan and Adam weren't telling her. 

Duncan pulled Adam out of earshot from Lily. She could make out a few words trying to read their lips. "....Richie...." "....we tell her?" "....have to...." "....but she doesn't...." It was driving her crazy. 

"If you are going to talk about me, I would at least like to be included in the conversation." Both men stopped talking and looked at each other, questioning. Adam shoved his hands into his pants pockets and shrugged. 

"Oh, you're a big help....and this is _your_ problem!" 

"Now I'm a problem?" 

"Lily, no, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry." 

"Then please tell me what is going on." The look in her eyes pleaded with Duncan so that he hated to disappoint her. The seconds felt like hours as he struggled about whether to tell her. He knew Richie wanted to be the one to tell her of Immortals. Not telling her and leaving her that snowy night was one of the hardest things Richie had ever done. 

But yet, if this situation with Adam was going to be resolved, she was going to have to be told. And Duncan had a feeling it should be settled before something happened to Lily and they would have to tell her anyway. 

He wished he hadn't told Richie to not come. "Lily, there are some things you may want to know - may even _need_ to know - before you and Adam discuss things. And Richie wanted to tell them to you. I think we should let him." 

She stiffened a bit at the mention of Richie's name. "Is he here in Paris?" 

"No, he's still in Seacouver, but he can be here by tomorrow." 

"I don't know Duncan, I'm just not ready. And frankly, if I was, I don't think I could wait until tomorrow." 

Duncan nodded his head. "Okay then. It's your decision." 

* * *

Lily stared out of the porthole, absorbing everything Duncan had just told her; trying to believe it. Methos had stayed silent the entire time, watching Lily's reaction. She had take it rather well, considering. Or she was in some sort of shock. 

Lily hadn't moved in half an hour. Finally, she turned and prepared to leave, still saying nothing. Duncan moved toward her and placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Please don't go...." 

"I need to Duncan. I can't think with the two of you waiting for me to say something. Peace, quiet, and solitude are what I need." 

"You must have questions, and we want to be there when you want or need to ask them." 

"I'll write them down for you," she replied with an edge of sarcasm. "I'm sorry, this is just a lot to absorb. And I'm not quite sure if I actually believe it, to tell the truth." Of course, it could explain a lot, but she and Methos still had things to figure out. 

For the first time since he had demanded an answer from her, Methos spoke. "Why would we make something like that up? What you need is proof isn't it? Well, if that's what you need, I'm ready to give it to you." 

Duncan gave Methos a warning look. "Adam, I don't think she's quite ready for that...." 

"No, Duncan, maybe he's right," the tone of her voice hardened. She hated being told what she needed. "This is all rather hard to swallow. Some proof would be nice." 

Methos grabbed a dagger from Duncan's display and placed it in her hand. "Not that...." Duncan pleaded. Then, with a deep breath, Methos pushed it dead center into his heart. Lily didn't make a sound, not even a startled gasp. She just stared at Methos with wide eyes. Distracted by what was happening before her, she relaxed her hand and dropped the dagger. Her eyes didn't leave Methos until it had been a few minutes. 

She looked up at Duncan finally as if to ask why he was still dead, and if he was going to revive. "It shouldn't be much longer." 

"Are you sure?" she asked a little warily. She wouldn't have her proof until he opened his eyes again. 

Duncan smiled slightly. "Quite sure." 

A few moments later, Methos awoke with a reviving gasp, wincing with the last feelings of pain in his chest. "Jesus, I hate doing that." 

"Then don't do that." 

"Very funny MacLeod." Moving his gaze to Lily, he asked, "Is that proof enough for you?" 

"I guess so," she answered flippantly, having absorbed the situation enough to be as cynical as he was. 

"Well, good, I thought maybe that wouldn't satisfy you," he retorted. 

"I still need to let this all sink in. Duncan, will you take me back to my hotel?" 

"Sure, I'll get your coat." 

"I'm sorry about your shirt," she told Methos. 

"It's nothing, I have several more like it - for situations just like this." Lily gave a bit of a laugh as Duncan helped her with her coat. "I'll see you tomorrow then," Methos added. It was more of a statement than a question. 

Lily paused as if considering it, then gave a nod to say "Sure, why not?" 

* * *

**Part 4**

Methos hoped the professor had a plan. He just wanted this mess figured out. And if he did, no doubt Lily did just as much, if not more. In 5,000 years he had never been so confused about something. 

Its impossible that Lily could be a descendant of Seshet, but how can the fact that she looks exactly like her be explained? _They say everyone has a doppelganger, but so many years apart? And_ both _Immortal?_ It was driving him crazy. 

What if she remembered her dreams and how horrible he was as a Horseman? Before MacLeod had re-introduced him to his conscience, he wouldn't have given a damn. But now she, _they_ , were constantly in his dreams and thoughts. 

Methos had no idea what happened to Seshet. Perhaps he should have taught her to use a sword before he let her go. That would have given her a better chance at survival. He could only hop what he told her about the Game helped her, and that she found a good teacher. 

Lily had mentioned at one point the sudden headaches, and that stuck out at Methos. The sensation of approaching Immortals usually struck new Immortals with headaches, but a _pre_ -Immortal who couldn't sense them? Perhaps she was feigning being a mortal, trying to get close to him so she could kill him? She knew his name, when only a handful of people knew? 

She could be suffering from some sort of amnesia. _Immortal Alzheimer's, wouldn't that be something to Chronicle?_

The wildest possibility that his mind came up with was that Seshet had come back reincarnated as Lily. To those who believed in reincarnation, it was entirely possible. Methos himself wasn't sure where he stood on the subject. It wasn't something an Immortal thought of. They could live forever. And the Quickening, essentially an Immortal's soul, was taken by the winner. It was purely impossible that Lily had taken Seshet's head since she wasn't an Immortal yet. 

The last possibility was beginning to appeal to Methos, even if it did sound far-fetched. He liked the amnesia scenario best, that would be easy to explain. Some sort of accident with head trauma and when she regained her memory, traumatic or egregious events were blocked out. And now they were unveiling themselves through dreams, not quite to the conscious level - where she could recall them without a lot of difficulty. The mind was a complex subject, even to a 5,000-year-old man. 

He needed to take a look at the Watcher files to weed out theories. According to MacLeod, she didn't know anything about Immortals. He couldn't get into the Database with MacLeod's computer, and his needed fixing. "Is Joe in Paris?" 

"Yeah, I think so. He wouldn't be doing his job if he wasn't." 

"Can you see if he is? I need to talk to him. I have a little research to do." 

"Is there something barring you from calling?" 

"You know the number, and he's _your_ Watcher." 

"Excuses...." MacLeod checked first with Le Blues Bar, but they said Joe had gone home. He had just walked in the door when the phone rang. His job called again, he couldn't have one night to himself. 

"Thanks Joe, Methos really appreciates it." Hanging up the phone Mac told Methos Joe would be expecting him. 

When Methos showed up, Joe was naturally curious about what was going on. Methos didn't want to reveal too much, so he just gave him the basics and wanted to research Seshet. It was a long process and took him a couple hours to find anything on her. 

He hadn't known where to start since he had no idea what aliases she might have used over the centuries. Hell, he let her go in the middle of a desert. Starting with the basics like appearance traits, he had narrowed it down to 119 possibilities. Three hours and 83 Immortals later, he found her. It was like Seshet _and_ Lily were staring back at him from the computer screen. Seshet was listed as Khalida al-Masud, with a dozen other aliases since 1439. There was nothing prior to that. Either she had stayed hidden on Holy Ground and avoided other Immortals for a _long_ time, or the Watchers just hadn't crossed her path. 

As Methos read through her file, he was glad she had lived as long as she did. When he had let her go that day in the desert, she had absolutely no experience fighting with a sword. He regretted not being able to train her with even the basics. He remembered telling her about what she was and warning her of the others. 

_Their passion spent, or at least his, Methos laid with Seshet in his arms stroking her exposed breast and teasing the nipple. She needed to know what she would have to face now that she was Immortal. If he waited for "the right time" to tell her, he'd be waiting forever. Firming his arms around her in case she tried to get up, he began. "Seshet, there are things you need to know now." She looked at him quizzically, not sure where he was going. "You remember back when you tried to escape and fell?" She nodded. "Well, you died from that fall."_

The words echoed in her ears. He knew she was wondering how she could be alive if she died. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but Methos stopped her. "Just listen." Her mouth closed. 

"You are an Immortal. That's why you get that sensation when one of us approaches." He saw the question in her face. "Yes, I am Immortal, as well as Kronos, Caspian, and Silas. Which is why I've tried to keep you near me, hoping that the sensation from me would mask yours enough that they wouldn't realize you are now an Immortal. Yes, we knew before that you were destined to become Immortal." Methos paused to let what he'd said so far to sink in, then continued. 

"If they find out, I can't promise what they would or wouldn't do. Probably kill you. We are capable of being killed, and we'll recover. Except when we are beheaded, then it's permanent. When that happens there is a Quickening, a transfer of the life force, that the winner receives." He continued, explaining Holy Ground, that there can be only one, the use of swords, that most mortals had no idea of Immortals, and so on. As he finished, she finally blinked and started to lose the captured animal look. 

"Do you understand everything I have told you?" Seshet gave a wide-eyed nod. "Any questions?" 

She started to nod, then sputtered, "Can you let me go?" 

"No." 

"Why not? You yourself just said that I could not die. What use am I to you or the others if I do not fear death?" 

"Would you like Kronos to take your head!? That _is what you have to fear. If I let you go, how would you protect yourself?"_

Obviously, she had, once he let her go. He was lucky that Kronos had believed him when Methos told him he killed her for trying to escape again. 

She had lost a Challenge in 1969 in Portland, Oregon, to Paul Karros after an argument. _1969....that sounds about right for Lily's birth year._ This was getting more interesting. He would have to find out Lily's birthdate and place. 

Joe interrupted his thoughts. "It's 2 a.m., haven't you found what you were looking for? Us mortals need a little more sleep than you." 

"Yeah, I guess I just lost track of time." He copied Seshet's file to a disk for later reference. "Thanks, Joe, I'll let you get some sleep." He shut down the computer and grabbed his jacket. "See you later Joe." 

"Night Methos." 

He hadn't realized how tired he was until there was nothing to preoccupy him. Not that there was much research he could do at two o'clock in the morning. He resigned to checking out Lily's birth information later, he wasn't sure he wanted to ask her outright, they were hardly on the exchanging life stories level. 

_How do I get myself roped into these things? I met Lily once, and now she could possibly be Seshet? This is crazy._ Methos thought he'd put his Horsemen days behind him. Seems he'd never get to put it behind him. 

Methos dreamt of her again that night, but not in quite so intense a situation, rather a pleasant dream 

* * *

Waking up to the sun on his face, Methos realized what time it was. The sun didn't reach his bedroom until late morning. _Damn, I told MacLeod I'd be there for breakfast._ Jumping out of bed, he jumped into the shower and then onto the phone. He called a couple contacts in the States to see what information they could find on Lily Fraser. Since it was so late in the States already, they probably wouldn't get the information to Methos until the next day, or even the day after. It would have to do, he had to get to the Barge, Lily would be there soon. Maybe they'd figure some things out. 

  


"Where have you been? I tried calling you half a dozen times this morning." 

"Sorry, I was up late and just needed some solid sleep. I may be Immortal, but I still need sleep." 

"Heard of an alarm clock?" 

"I hate those things. So do you want to do brunch instead?" 

"Yeah, but since Lily will be here soon, I figure we can wait for her." 

"Speaking of Lily, what do you know about her?" 

"Not much. She grew up in Portland in a foster home; moved to Seacouver to go to college; runs a small advertisement agency. She was seeing Richie for a while until she saw him take someone's head. It scared her off, and Richie was going to tell her about Immortals, but I gather she didn't want to know, so she broke it off." 

Methos thought about this. She knew Richie had taken a head, but didn't know why. She's seen him in dreams. There had to be something of Seshet in her somehow. _But how?_

His thoughts were interrupted by Lily's arrival and a comment from MacLeod. "For not being an Immortal yet, she has a strong signal." 

"Huh? Oh yeah. I don't know." 

"Don't think too hard." 

"Ha ha. Get the door for her, will ya?" 

Duncan shot a glare at him. "Yes, your majesty." Methos retorted with a sarcastic grin. Opening the door, Lily came in slowly, almost hesitant, holding her head. 

* * *

© 1998-2002   
Please send comments to the author!   
Part 2 added 11/30/1998   
Part 3 added 02/15/1999   
Part 4 added 08/27/1999 

09/12/1998 

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